Late Show Top Ten

Top Ten Signs You’ve Hired A Bad Easter Bunny
10. Shows up wearing the costume head and nothing else.
9. Reeks of tequila and Easter egg dye.
8. Immediately asks if he can have Easter off.
7. Refuses to hop because it aggravates his double hernia.
6. For an extra 20 bucks, parents can buy an ounce of his
special “Easter grass”.
5. Only gives the kids candy after they attend his
presentation on the time-share condos.
4. Keeps muttering something about “infidels” and “jihad”.
3. Costume is made from animal skin he scraped off the
interstate.
2. Habitually licks and grooms himself.
1. The enormous ears? Steroids.

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Late Night
John McCain is in Iraq this week. He said his goal as president would be to introduce the Iraqi people to the concept of the early bird special.
~Jay Leno

Here’s a sure sign spring is around the corner: Donald Trump evicted a family of robins out of his hair.
~David Letterman

According to USA Today, Starbucks in going to market an energy drink. It’s for people who get tired while waiting in line at Starbucks.
~Conan O’Brien

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A customer was continually bothering the waiter in a restaurant; first, he’d asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot. Then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour.
Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, walking back and forth and never once getting angry.
So finally, a second customer asked why didn’t they just throw out the pest.
“Oh I don’t care,” said the waiter with a smile. “We don’t even have an air conditioner.”

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