Late Night Monday 8/25


The Tonight Show with Jay Leno

The Olympics on NBC was the most watched TV show in the history of television. The least watched shows on television? Anything on NBC after the Olympics.

How about that one American female competitor who got robbed of her silver medal? What was her name? Oh — Hillary Clinton.

At the Democratic Convention in Denver, both Bill and Hillary Clinton will be speaking . . . not to each other, of course . . .

Barack Obama sent out a text message for his vice president choice at 3 a.m. He told everyone he picked Joe Biden. How do you think that made Hillary Clinton feel? She finally gets that 3 a.m. call — and it’s to tell her they picked Joe Biden.

Late Show with David Letterman

During the closing ceremonies of the Olympics, Michael Phelps won two more gold medals.

From the Olympics on to the Democratic Convention in Denver. The theme of this year’s convention is unity. Unfortunately they can’t agree on how it works . . .

The Democratic National Convention is in Denver, and security is tight. It’s very tight. It is tighter than Nancy Pelosi’s face.

Joe Biden is Barack Obama’s running mate. Nothing says change like a guy who’s been in the Senate for 35 years.

 

Late Night with Conan O’Brien

This week, Barack Obama is going to give his acceptance speech, and reportedly, it will include performances by Bon Jovi and Bruce Springsteen . . . and they say Obama isn’t black enough.

Tomorrow night at the convention, to show support of Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton is going to give a speech. Hillary’s speech is entitled, “Forget All Those Things I Said During the Primaries.”

The current issue of Newsweek magazine has a picture of President Bush on the cover with the headline, “What Bush Got Right.” Newsweek says “What Bush Got Right” is the shortest cover story since January’s issue on famous Korean rabbis.

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