Groaners


What would happen if Satan lost his hair?
There would be hell toupee.

When someone insults me I usually have a great comeback but I just keep it to myself. Does this make me mentally retorted?

Problems with my laptop required calling the dreaded company help line. The service rep, based in another country, did not speak English very well. So I tried to explain it as simply as possible: “I can’t get the computer to work.” “Ah, I see,” he responded. “You are unable to transport your computer to your place of employment.”

A doctor made it his regular habit to stop off at a bar for a hazelnut daiquiri on his way home. The bartender knew of his habit, and would always have the drink waiting at precisely 5:03 p.m. One afternoon, as the end of the work day approached, the bartender was dismayed to find that he was out of hazelnut extract. Thinking quickly, he threw together a daiquiri made with hickory nuts and set it on the bar. The doctor came in at his regular time , took one sip of the drink and exclaimed, “This isn’t a hazelnut daiquiri!” “No, I’m sorry,” replied the bartender, “it’s a hickory daiquiri, Doc.”

~thanks Stan!

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