Stupid Instructions


In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through
stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer — Do not use while sleeping.
(That’s the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos — You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap — “Directions: Use like regular soap.” (and that
would be???….)

On some Swanson frozen dinners — “Serving suggestion: Defrost.” (but,
it’s just a suggestion.)

On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) — “Do not turn upside
down.” (well…duh, a bit late, huh!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding — “Product will be hot after
heating.” (…and you thought????…)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron — “Do not iron clothes on body.” (but
wouldn’t this save me time?)

On Boot’s Children Cough Medicine — “Do not drive a car or operate
machinery after taking this medication.” (We could do a lot to reduce
the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5
year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid — “Warning: May cause drowsiness.”
(…I’m taking this because???….)

On most brands of Christmas lights — “For indoor or outdoor use only.”
(as opposed to what?)

On a Japanese food processor — “Not to be used for the other use.”
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I’m a bit curious.)

On Sainsbury’s peanuts — “Warning: contains nuts.”
(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts — “Instructions: Open packet,
eat nuts.” (Step 3: say what?)

On a child’s Superman costume — “Wearing of this garment does not
enable you to fly.” (I don’t blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw — “Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands
or genitals.” (Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

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