Last Will and Testament of a Farmer


LAST WILL & TESTAMENT OF A FARMER!

I LEAVE:

To my Wife:
My overdraft at the bank. Maybe she can explain it.

To my Son:
Equity on my car.
Now he will have to go to work to meet the payments.

To my Banker:
My soul.
He has the mortgage on it anyway.

To my Neighbour:
My clown suit.
He will need it if he continues to farm as he has in the past.

To the Farm Credit Corporation:
My unpaid bills.
They took some real chances on me.
I want to do something for them.

To the Junk Man:
All my machinery.
He’s had his eyes on it for years.

To My Undertaker:
A special request.
I want six implement dealers and six fertilizer dealers for pallbearers.
They are used to carrying me.

To the Weatherman:
Rain, hail and snow for the funeral please.
No sense in having good weather now.

To the Grave Digger:
Don’t bother.
The hole I’m in now should be big enough.

And lastly…

To the Monument Maker:
Set up a jig for the epitaph.
“Here lies a farmer who has now properly assumed all of his obligations.”

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