Late Night Wednesday 11/5/08


The Tonight Show with Jay Leno

Barack Obama is the 44th president. He won in Florida, and still became president. That never happens.

In fact, Democrats are asking for a recount — they still can’t believe they won.

There was a huge celebration over at the Barack Obama headquarters . . . otherwise known as MSNBC.

This is our first black president since the first season of “24.”

 

Late Show with David Letterman

Attention passengers: The Straight Talk Express is no longer in service.

I went to bed early — how did Ralph Nader do?

Barack Obama is our new president. I think I speak for everybody when I say, “Anybody mind if he starts a little early?”

At the end of the night, the electoral vote count was 349 for Obama, 148 for McCain — or as Fox News says, “too close to call.”

 

Late Night with Conan O’Brien

Last night, history was made. That’s right, John McCain stayed up past 11 p.m.

After Barack Obama was declared the winner, President Bush called him and promised to work with him to guarantee a smooth transition. When he heard this, Obama said, “Thanks — but you’ve done enough.”

All of the major networks declared Barack Obama the winner at 11 o’clock last night — except for MSNBC, which declared Obama the winner six months ago.

The city of Chicago was so excited about Obama’s win that hundreds of thousands of people turned out for his victory rally. There was an awkward moment when Obama put on a hat that said “Proud to be Muslim” and screamed, “Suckers!”

 

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

It’s a great day for America. I TiVoed the election so don’t tell me who won . . .

People all over the world are celebrating Obama’s victory. Sarah Palin watched the Russians celebrating from her house.

Sen. John McCain’s concession speech was beautiful. It was dignified, and it was classy. And I think the reason for that is he didn’t let Palin say anything.

It going to be terrible for late-night talk-show hosts. Obama doesn’t make that many mistakes. How can I do my job? My only hope is Biden . . .

 

Jimmy Kimmel Live!

Barack Obama has been elected the 44th president of the United States. I hope even if you are Republican or one those crazy small people parties you can still find something to be happy about.

If not for the first ever African-American president, be happy for the first vice president with hair plugs.

President Bush called Barack Obama to congratulate him. He said, “What an awesome night for you and your family.” I think his eloquence is what we’ll remember most about Bush.

Obama thanked Bush for his call and for all he did to help Obama get elected.

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