These 12 are comments made on students’ report cards by teachers in the New
York City public school system. All teachers were reprimanded but maybe they
had a point!
1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started
2. I would not allow this student to breed.
3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.
4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to
6. The student has a ‘full six-pack’ but lacks the plastic thing to hold it
7. This child has been working with glue too much.
8. When your daughter’s IQ reaches 50, she should sell.
9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn’t coming.
10. If this student were any stupider he’d have to be watered twice a week.
11. It’s impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out
12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.