London street cell phone texting injuries
Cops have tough time finding sober driver for boy
SCHERERVILLE, Ind. – Indiana state police said that after a mother was arrested for drunken driving, the three relatives who came to pick up her 1-year-old son also had all been drinking. A state trooper stopped a minivan for speeding early Saturday on U.S. 30 in Schererville in northwestern Indiana. He arrested the 24-year-old woman on a drunken driving charges.
The boy’s father arrived later to pick him up, but officers determined he was intoxicated and also arrested him on a drunken driving charge.
Police said the boy’s grandparents then arrived. Both of them also had been drinking, state police said, but the grandmother who was driving was not over the legal limit, so officers escorted them home with the child.
A week after their wedding, the redneck newlyweds, Ed and Arlene, paid a visit to their doctor.
“You ain’t gonna believe this, Doc,” said the husband. “My thingy’s turnin’ blue.”
“That’s pretty unusual,” said the doctor. “Let me examine you.”
The doctor takes a look. Sure enough, the redneck’s “thingy” really was blue.
The doctor turns to the wife, “Are you using the diaphragm that I prescribed for you?”
“Yep, shore am,” she replied brightly.
“And what kind of jelly are you using with it?”
I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were shouting 13… 13… 13. The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap between the planks and looked through to see what was going on.
Some bastard poked me in the eye with a stick.
Then everyone began shouting 14… 14… 14.