Disclaimer

Disclaimer:

This blog does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my husband, my kids, my company, my friends, or my dogs; don’t quote me on that; don’t quote me on anything; all rights reserved; terms are subject to change without notice; do not remove this disclaimer under penalty of law; hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat; do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle; your mileage may vary; no substitutions allowed; for a limited time only; this article is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted; caveat emptor; article is provided “as is” without any warranties; reader assumes full responsibility; an equal opportunity article; It’s just a flesh wound; no shoes, no shirt, no service; quantities are limited while supplies last; if any defects are discovered, do not attempt to read them yourself, but return to an authorized service center; read at your own risk; parental discretion advised, text may contain explicit materials some readers may find objectionable; keep away from sunlight; keep away from OJ and Robert Blake, oh and Lindsay Lohan while she’s driving; limit one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase necessary; you need not be present to win; instructions are included; Do not submerge in water; Phone calls may be monitored to ensure a high level of customer service; Not to be used as a floatation device; How much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if woodchuck could chuck wood?; action figures sold separately; no preservatives added; slippery when wet; safety goggles may be required during use; sealed for your protection, do not read if safety seal is broken; call before you dig; not liable for damages arising from use or misuse; for external use only; if dizziness, sleeplessness, nervousness, headache, sinus infection, diarrhea, eczema, seborrhea, psoriasis, pink eye, a nasty ugly rash that even a doctor won’t go near, athlete’s foot, hemorrhoids, toe fungus, dandruff, excessive gas buildup, spider veins, constipation, poison ivy and who knows what else, discontinue reading; read only with proper ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place; keep away from open flames; avoid contact with eyes and skin and avoid inhaling fumes; do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit; do not place near a flammable or magnetic source; smoking this article could be hazardous to your health; the best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a condom; no salt, MSG, artificial color or flavoring added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a physician; articles are ribbed for your pleasure; possible penalties for early withdrawal; offer valid only at participating sites; allow four to six weeks for delivery; must be 18 to read; If one doctor doctors another doctor, does the doctor who doctors the doctor doctor the doctor the way the doctor he is doctoring doctors? Or does he doctor the doctor the way the doctor who doctors doctors?; disclaimer does not cover misuse, accident, lightning, flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, hurricanes, and other Acts of God, neglect, damage from improper reading, incorrect line voltage, improper or unauthorized reading, broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or altered serial numbers, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, sonic boom vibrations, customer adjustments that are not covered in this list, and incidents owing to an airplane crash, ship sinking or taking on water, motor vehicle crashing, dropping the item, falling rocks, leaky roof, broken glass, mud slides, forest fire, or projectile (which can include, but not be limited to, arrows, bullets, shot, BB’s, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of X-rays, Alpha, Beta and Gamma rays, knives, stones, etc.); Dry Clean only; Six thick thistle sticks; Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously; Not responsible for lost or stolen items; Use as an actual terrorist device not recommended; I slit the sheet, the sheet I slit, and on the slitted sheet I sit; Some assimilation required. Resistance is futile; Some dismemberment may occur; Requires 2 ‘AA’ batteries, but of course, they are not included; Void Where Prohibited; Close Cover Before Striking; Limited Warranty; Some Assembly Required; Limited Seating. Advance Reservations Required; Use only as directed; Not to be used by children under 3; No animals were injured in the making of this blog; Artificially flavored; Which witch wished which wicked wish?; All rights reserved; Best when used by expiration date; Available for a limited time only at participating locations; For chronic continued constipation consult with your doctor; Due to the graphic content, parental discretion is advised; Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidence; Do not disturb; Freshest if eaten before date on carton; For off-road use only; Not affiliated with the American Red Cross; Nor the Beatles; Substantial penalty for early withdrawal; Add toner; Avoid contact with skin; Beware of dog; No anchovies unless otherwise specified; First pull up, then pull down; Falling rock. Quality may vary. No parking. No Standing. No Solicitors. No Spitting. No Kidding. Post No Bills. No substitutions. Toto, I don’t think we are in Kansas anymore; Contents may settle during shipment. Sign here without admitting guilt. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Driver does not carry cash. Auto pilot is engaged during flight. Decision of judges is final; other restrictions may apply; Do not write below this line.

This supersedes all previous notices.

Basically, in Simple English, this means I don’t claim ownership to anything that I post on here, I’m not that creative. If I have found content from another blog, website, etc., I will add a via link. If there isn’t a via link, I have no idea where the fuck I got it from..could be old stuff or Facebook or something. I give credit where credit is due. If it’s yours, let me know and I will credit you. Don’t get your panties in a bunch over it.

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