This Just In – Man Charged With Passing Gas at Cop

SOUTH CHARLESTON, W.Va. (Sept. 25) — A West Virginia man who police said passed gas and fanned it toward a patrolman has been charged with battery on a police officer.

Jose A. Cruz, 34, of Clarksburg, was pulled over early Tuesday for driving without headlights, police said. According to the criminal complaint, Cruz smelled of alcohol, had slurred speech and failed three field sobriety tests before he was handcuffed and taken to a police station for a breathalyzer test.

As Patrolman T.E. Parsons prepared the machine, Cruz scooted his chair toward Parsons, lifted his leg and “passed gas loudly,” the complaint said.

Cruz, according to complaint, then fanned the gas toward the officer.

“The gas was very odorous and created contact of an insulting or provoking nature with Patrolman Parsons,” the complaint alleged.

He was also charged with driving under the influence, driving without headlights and two counts of obstruction.

Cruz acknowledged passing gas, but said he didn’t move his chair toward the officer nor aim gas at the patrolman. He said he had an upset stomach at the time, but police denied his request to go to the bathroom when he first arrived at the station.

“I couldn’t hold it no more,” he said.

He also denied being drunk and uncooperative as the police complaint alleged. He added he was upset at being prepared for a breathalyzer test while having an asthma attack. The police statement said he later resisted being secured for a trip to a hospital that he requested for asthma treatment.

Cruz said the officers thought the gas incident was funny when it happened and laughed about it with him.
“This is ridiculous,” he said. “I could be facing time.”

Copyright 2008 The Associated Press.

You Might Be A Cop If:

You Might Be A Cop If:

You have the bladder capacity of five people.
You have ever restrained someone and it was not a sexual experience
You believe that 25% of people are a waste of protoplasm
Your idea of a good time is a robbery at shift change
You call for a NCIC on anyone that is not friendly toward you
You think it is perfectly normal to discuss dismemberment over a gourmet meal
You can identify a negative “tattoo to tooth” ratio just by looking at a person
You find humor in other people’s stupidity
You believe in the aerial spraying of Prozac
You don’t believe 90% of what you hear and 75% of what you see
You have your weekends off planned for a year in advance
You believe that the Government should require a permit to reproduce
You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says “Boy, it sure is quiet around here”
You refer to your nightstick or flashlight as your “Dork Slayer”
You believe that chocolate is a food group
You take it as a compliment when someone calls you a prick
You have wanted to hold a seminar on “Suicide, getting it right the first time
You believe that “too stupid to live” should be a valid jury verdict
You have had to put a complainant on hold, while you laugh uncontrollably
You have wanted a terrorist to deliver a Ryder truck to a particular bar
You believe the dispatcher is possessed
You think caffeine should be available in I.V. form
You’re not referring to food when you mention vegetables
You believe that the holding cell should come with a Valium saltlick
You have heard: “I have no idea how that got there,” on more than a few occasions
You suddenly realize one night that you are patrolling the Twilight Zone
You correlate “two beers” with 0.15 BAC
You have learned a lot about paranoia, simply by following random cars around in your patrol car
You believe that it is a “good” death only if it involves overtime.
You think comp time is a joke thought up by some dimwit politician!
You know the city/county has computer access to welfare eligibility being the reason you are a dollar over and can’t qualify for food stamps.
-Author Unknown